day 5- behind close doors. i hear laughter and see smiles behind close door but i enter not. cant i enter? i want to hear none of it. the doors and rooms should be at my side, but why arent they? the only thing tt was left for my quietness was robbed away. why. the moon always bring sadness to me.

wats the definition of home? why does mine not feel lyk one??? i rather stay out in the cold than feel the coldness in the house... i rather be busy, i rather be preoccupied the whole day with no rest, no time wasted on, on..

Blogging let me relieve my thoughts. Here goes~
don't know how to tell you, should it carry on like this?
a sense of anticipation but fraught with mundane spirit, as if it was due for me.
is it a routine that i'll wait for it? or just a sweeping wind that flies past with wings?
will the weed be able to support its neck? how long will the weed be able to support? i wonder
questions after questions, as if testing an experiment.the
wind awaits and tested with diligence and patience
while the weed hopes for the sunlight and wind that shares secrets.
is the ending like all failures?
the wind blows gently...
telling you my secret, will you hold it close to your heart?
zip it up and hide it away.
sometimes a child needs some protection and care
reminds me of the immature adulthood i once hated.
its like a pillow without it's casing,
naked, empty and vulnerable